Dear Cesar Millan,

It’s true, I own a dog daycare that cares for about 65 dogs a day. It’s true that I only have six dogs at home.  It’s true that most people think that my work and home life are, lets say, a tad off. But I know you won’t judge me Cesar, I know you are the only person I can turn to now. 

I have a greyhound hooked on acid and a terrier who wants to try-out for the next season of American Gladiator. No no, don’t be silly Cesar, not as a contestant, as a gladiator.  I can’t live like this anymore… please help me.  I really think Bounty should come to California to be admitted into your Dog Psychology Center.  Cesar, don’t be fooled by her size, she is the most foul cruel tempered animal you will ever meet… just look at the bones.  Do you have a drug and alcohol center at the DPC?  I really think Runway is so far gone now that there is nothing we can do.  I tried getting her onto that Celebrity Rehab show, you know as a ‘therapy dog’ (wink wink), but no luck.

So whaddya say, can you take them.  Please. Please take them?! “TAAAAAAAAKE THEMMMMMMMM” ….please?

2 replies
  1. Aaron
    Aaron says:

    Isn’t the actual phrase, “foul, cruel tempered RODENT”? Hmmmm? 🙂
    I do have to admit that I like the Gladiator idea. We could make a fortune with the odds we’d get!


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