Ballistic Bathroom Buddies

I have been living with a posse of pups for a bunch of years and bathroom time has really never been a problem.  Before moving to Dover, I had 10 dogs; 8 greyhounds and 2 whippets.  Dogs have to go out, out they go, they go to the bathroom and they come in, life is as it should be.  Nine of those dogs have since passed on and KO is the last of that great pack.  Now…..I have the pack from HELL.

Here’s the reality of our pack life today, this minute in fact.  KO and Hootie are upstairs all the time so they go out together and all that works out, and comes out fine.  Wicca, Runway, Bounty, and Mojo spend their days in the dog room downstairs so they go out together, unfortunately nothing actually comes out.

So just last night while I was cleaning Bounty’s poopie crate, oh and screaming loudly because I ended up with a poop smudge on my cheek.  Oh yes, last night’s turn out sounded something like this “Aaron…. I think I have shit on my face…oh my God…. can you see it… look it’s on my hand and now I think it’s on my face….holy shit… I can’t stand it… blah blah blah”.  Aaron responds calmly, “Honey, are you shit faced again!” Our neighbors have got to be writing blogs of their own about how freaking crazy the pair of us are. Sorry, I digress.  While I was cleaning said poopie crate and wondering why oh why Bounty pooped her crate in the first place brings me to the point of this post.

As you know Wicca has been the queen of her own pack of four; Runway, Bounty, and Mojo and things were going okay.  Well over the last week or so I think Runway has started taking some hallucinogenics and now thinks that Bounty is some kind of walking squeaky toy.  Easy, I say, we’ll muzzle her so she can’t squeak Bounty anymore.  Okay, she’s muzzled.  Now she, clearly still taking the same drugs, thinks that Mojo is really just something to flip up into the air.  Mojo doesn’t especially enjoy the flipping but Bounty, on the other hand, really quite enjoys it and thinks that Runway should be jumped continuously while flipping Mojo. 

So it looks like this, Runway, whacked out of her gourd, flipping Mojo up into the air and Bounty, completely jacked up, trying to take down the drugged out greyhound.  All of this activity equals.. NO ONE GOES TO THE FREAKIN’ BATHROOM OUTSIDE.